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Relationship Advice for Men — Cultivating your Desire | Celeste & Danielle, Sex Coaches

November 6, 2019

– Today we’re gonna start
a series on men’s desire. And you may have noticed that Danielle is conspicuously missing from this video. That’s because I’m making
a secret series of videos to create an army of lovers for Danielle to have the best lovers
in the world! (laughs) So shhhhh – don’t tell her. So the first thing I wanna
talk about is men’s desire. And I think it’s really challenging
for men out in the world because there’s a lot of messages like “our desire is creepy”
or “you’re gonna be weird”. It’s hard to walk around and just know that your a desirous being in the world, and not feel like this is somehow going to disrupt other
people, and especially women. And so I wanna help you kind of firstly get in touch with your desire and own it. And what’s creepy isn’t
that you have desire. Your desire is actually extremely
beautiful and important. What’s creepy is if you don’t
have mastery over your desire and how you share it out in the world. So the first step I wanna say
is celebrate your desires. Your desires are beautiful. Some of them you’ll be able to engage and act out in the world,
some of them you won’t. But I want you to just think like, this is my desire. This is
my intimacy with myself. And I wanna know who I am as an erotic man and an erotic being. The second step is to realize that there are ways you can hold
that erotic energy in your body and share it with the people
that you’re attracted to without spilling. But
also without containing it so far back that people
don’t even feel it. I remember I went on this
date with this guy one time and we were talking, and I was kind of trying to flirt – I was pretty excited. And I felt no erotic
energy from him at all. And afterwards I said “hey,
let’s take a little walk” We walked around the block, and I said “I didn’t feel
any flirting from you or any connection in that realm.” And he said “yeah, well, I
was kind of thinking of this as date zero,” and I was like
“yeah, it really was a zero.” There was no flirtation, there was no fun, there was no energy and
it was a real bummer. So I think we do want to be flirted with – and the first step is to sort
of hold that erotic energy in your body. And then to
feel yourself running it. But even imagine you’re
sitting up straight. You’re not leaning in, and like worried, like scarcity, like am
I gonna get this or not. And you’re also not like
oh I’m gonna hold this back because she’s gonna be afraid
of me if I give it too. And then you’re all tight, right? So I want you to find this
place of like, (inhales) relaxed, connected, breath and warmth and appreciation that connects your heart, and your gut, and your
cock, all the way down – so that you’re in this integrated place. And you can breath to do that. You can feel the
celebration of your energy without feeling like you
have to do anything about it right away, and then you
wanna bring it into connection with your partner in a
flirtatious, playful way. You don’t talk about
sex overtly right away. You really just bring in like, you imagine, “oh, maybe later, I’m gonna be having sex with this person. I don’t know if I am or
not, I’m not attached to it, but like, maybe I am.” And that gives this little
like, this little sort of, flirty, like, I have a secret,
maybe we’re gonna share it, maybe we’re not. It’s like you’re looking at this person across
from you with appreciation and desire, and you’re really
wanting to get to know them and you’re also feeling
like, and, I want you. But you’re holding that
“I want you” in your body and not spilling it all over the place. So that’s kind of how you
bring this integrated, masculine desire into
connection with a partner. And if you do this with Danielle I think she’ll really like it (laughs). If you wanna find out
more you can subscribe to this channel and also next time we will be talking about men’s feelings and how to integrate them because men are so repressed around their emotions. (upbeat music)

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